Jom Membaca – A Brother's Journey

salam uolsssssss!~

straight to the point lah ye

malas nak type mukadimah panjang

hik hik hik

synopsis buku masih lagi pasal keluarga Dave

ingat lagi kan – minggu lepas buku2

pasal penderaan terhadap David Pelzer

kali ni – kisah dari adiknya pulak Richard Pelzer…

A Brother’s Journey

 

buku yg ditulis ni – kira macam  pengesahan lah

kepada apa yg ditulis Dave –

sebab sebelum ni ada yg mempertikaikan

samada penderaan yg diluar tahap pemikiran

manusia normal tu – betul2 berlaku ke tak….

selepas Dave diselamatkan dan diletakkan

di foster home – keadaan kat rumah tu sama jugak lah

macam sebelumnya – penderaan berterusan juga

hanya kali ni mangsa adalah orang lain pula

iaitu – Richard, anak no 4 pulak yg kena

delama ni – semasa Dave kena dera

Richard niy g jadik spy mak heols ye

even heols pun turut sama jugak buli dan dera dave

kadang2 sanggup menipu kat mak heols tu

sebab seronok tengok dave tu kena pukul setengah mati

kali ni – apa yg heols buat kat Dave

heols plak yg kena balik

dan spy mak heols plak – adik heols si Keith…

dan jugak abang heols si Scott ni…

deraan yg Richard ni lebih kurang sama macam Dave kena

bezanya – Richard masih lagi duduk dan tido dalam rumah tu

hanya bab makan – heols tak boleh makan sekali

kena tunggu si Keith tu makan dulu then baru heols makan

dah kena berhenti makan sebelum Keith sudah makan

if not – mak heols akan ambik balik makanan tu..

kejam tak sudah2 makcik ni kan???

pernah suatu pagi – semasa Richard ni nak pegi sekolah

sempat lagi mak heols ni belasah heols sampai lembik2

tak de salah apa pun yg Richard ni buat

tapi ikut sedap mak heols lah kan…

kebetulan pulak kawan Richard – Josh ni dah tunggu

selamba badak aje mak heols pukul heols

so Josh ni nampak ye Richard ni kena pukul dan tendang

sampai bedarah2 badan heols..

tapi again – tak ada siapa pun berani nak campur tangan

semua buat tak nampak aje…

since Richard ni dah jadik target mak heols

keadaan diri Richard ni sama jugak lah macam Dave

heols tak diberi baju baru

ulang2 pakai baju dan kasut yg sama bertahun2

dah tu – heols kena cuci sendiri baju heols

kalo silap cuci – mak heols akan rampas baju tu

so nak elakkan baju kena rampas

sometimes heols tak basuh baju heols berhari2

so heols jadik lagi sorang Smelly Pelzer kekdahnya!

tapi Richard ni bernasib baik jugak lah

heols ni pandai jugak nak elak dari kena dera ngan mak heols

selalunya heols akan keluar rumah menyorok2 awal2 pagi

dan bila balik rumah pun – menyelinap senyap2

supaya mak heols tak nampak

hanya bila heols tak bernasib baik – kena lah

or bila mak heols kehabisan vodka nak togok

memang ngalahkan setan lagi lah jadiknya…

satu episode deraan mak Richard ni

sehingga menyebabkan Richard ni masuk hospital

satu hari tu – mak heols surh heols gi kedai

a bit far – so heols gi naik basikal

sebelum tu heols singgah bakeri – nak makan donat

lepas makan tu – heols dapati basikal heols hilang

dah lah tu – heols dah lambat kekdahnya

jenuh carik basikal tak jumpa

then heols bagitau kat saleslady kat bakeri tu

sheols call polis – all hell broke loose lah…

bila polis tu hantar Richard – mak heols bertukar jadik Mrs. Cleaver

tunjuk lah kononnya sheols risau sangat2

takut kalau2 Richard ni ada buat salah

and when the police gone – the abuse started

kena tendang – kena pukul – kena campak ke lantai

semua kena lah – sampai muntah2 Richard ni…

dan kendiannya terus pengsan tak sedar diri…

bila heols sedar – heols lari kan diri

menyorok kat belakang sekolah – until someone found him

tapi disebabkan heols takut orang tu call polis

heols balik jugak rumah…

and true – sampai aje kat rumah

mak heols pukul lagi heols

kali ni heols memang pengsan tak bangun2

dengan kepala heols dah berdarah dah masa tu

nak tak nak – mak heols terpaksa call ambulance jugak

he was given a treatment and a chance to save himself

tapi – bila child officer tu tanya

heols tak nak plak cakap

and once again – mak heols terselamat

Richard ni pernah jugak nak bunuh mak heols ni

selepas keluar dari hospital tu lah

masa heols dah nekad sangat2 nak bunuh mak heols

heols pegi ambik pistol bapak heols

then gi jumpa mak heols yg tengah fully loaded

sebab minum vodka berbotol2 tu…

heols dah tarik trigger tu tapi –

tak pulak lah peluru tu keluar

rupa2nya – he didn’t put enough pressure

on the trigger – lagi pun all this while…

macam2 yg heols pikirkan – tentang adik heols

tentang abang heols yg baik dgn heols

and once again – his mother was safe…

ada sorang abang Richard ni yg baik jugak lah

his eldest brother - Ross

tapi tetap jugak lah tak boleh sangat2 nak tolong Richard

kalo mak heols nampak – tak pasal2 plak heols yg kena dera kan???

 

Ross ni selalu gak lah bawak Richard ni jalan2

or main sama2 football dengan heols dan kawan2

hanya masa ni lah mak heols tak berani nak kacau

sebab kawan2 si Ross ni ramai kan…

lagi satu deraan yg mak heols suka kenakan

ialah paksa heols telan tobacco bersudu2

pedas giler tabasco ni nokkkkk…!

kadang2 tak payah pakai sudu pun

sheols tonggang kan aje botol tabasco tu

masuk ke mulut si Richard ni…

bila tertumpah – memang Richard ni kena paksa

jilat tabasco yg ada kat atas lantai tu

i knocked the spoon out of her hand

and the tabasco sauce spilled on the floor

she slammed the bottle on the conuntertop

and grabbing the top of my head

“lick it up. that’s right, like a dog!”

she yelled at me. ‘lick it up – now!!.”

at that very moment, it hit me.

like a dog was all i kept hearing

over and over again in my head

flash of David under the kitchen table

eating out the dog dish flashed in my mind.

christmas selalu hari yg gembira buat budak2

dapat hadiah bagaikan kan???

semua anak2 (my boys kata mak Richard)

dapat hadiah best dan grand – kecuali Richard ye….

Richard dapat hanya buku komik

kata mak Richard ni – heols bernasib baik lah dapat

buku komik tu – sheols bagi pun sebab tak nak

Richard ni menangis sebab tak dapat hadiah

heols tak sepatutnya dapat hadiah pun

sebab heols bukan ahli keluarga tu

dan hadiah hanya untuk anak2 sheols aje…

even the christmas breakfast pun

Richard terkecuali dari join sama

kejam kan??? dengan darah daging sendiri pun

sanggup sheols buat macam tu!

even his grandmother pun mak heols tak suka ye..

her own mother kekdahnya…

everytime mak sheols datang ke rumah depa

konpem Richard ni kena paksa

untuk cakap yg depa kat suka kat nenek

dan halau nenek tu balik ke rumah sheols

“this is our family christmas. why are here?”

“these things are for family only, and you’re not family.”

‘you’re not welcome in our family.

you should go back to your home.”

with that, gram was packed and out of the house

before breakfast, driving home back, alone.

i had known full well the real hurt i had caused.

i didn’t feel sorry for her. if gram really knew

that her daughter was mentally ill and completely

unstable, she should have ensured that the

authorities took the rest of the children.

Richard ni yakin sangat2 yg mak sheols ni mentally ill

so heols tau – heols kena hati2 sangat dengan mak heols

dah lah tu – mak heols ni jugak kaki minum

minum vodka tu macam minum air kosong aje

she consumed 30 liters vodka per week!

selalunya deraan yang mak heols kenakan

dibantu oleh abg heols yg jugak twisted mind

like his mother – Scott

mamat ni memang dah jadik ketua keluarga

nak plak bila their parents divorced

and Ross – the eldest joined USAF

(USAF kalo tak silap iols – ke askar – iols dah lupa!)

bla ayah depa meninggal dunia

setelah setahun hadapi kanser dan hospitalized

for months – mak Richard ni decided nak pindah dari situ

masa tu depa tinggal di Daly City, california

nak pindah balik ke Salt Lake, Utah plak dah…

selesai aje funeral of her ex-husband

sheols and Scott buat preparation utk berpindah

they put the house for sale

and collect the money from her ex-husband pension

termasuk jugak duit insurance bekas suami sheols tu

a month before berpindah

depa sekeluarga – his mother – scott and keith

bercuti ke Salt Lake sambil nak carik rumah baru

they left Richard alone at home…

mak heols hanya bagi heols 60dollars utk hidup

tapi heols happy sangat2 kekdahnya

2 weeks without her mother around

2 weeks – heols boleh buat apa heols suka

makan sebanyak mana yg heols nak

hanya jiran2 sekeliling aje yg risau

most of them tau macam mana kehidupan keluarga Pelzer ni

depa heran jugak lah – sanggup mak Richard ni

tinggalkan anak sorang2 gitu…

Richard benar2 enjoyed himself

ikut kawan baik heols – Ben makan angin

even pegi shopping baju bagai kekdahnya

selalu heols akan pegi sarapan dan dinner

kat rumah his other friend – Josh

sebab parents Josh ni risau kan keselamatan heols

tapi depa ni tak berani nak report polis

ntah lah ye… memang ada manusia macam tu kan

hanya tengok aje – tak ada pun yg berani tolong….

when his mother balik semula – after 2 weeks

memula heols ingatkan mak heols dah ok lah

sebab his mother just ignore him

sepanjang masa – hinggalah at night

mak heols tanya what heols did all this while

how much money he spend and

what did he buy – he eat semua lah…

tapi heosl tipu – hanya cakap beli makanan

rupa2nya mak heols pegi check kat tong sampah

nampak lah pembalut2 barangan yg Richard beli

mak heols naik hantu lah kekdahnya…

pukul heols sampai lembik gitu

then paksa heols buang semua barangan

yg heols dah beli – tak de satu pun yg selamat

mak heols siap ugut ye…

yang mungkin Richard ni akan ditinggalkan aje

kat rumah tu nanti bila depa pindah

sheols tak peduli pun kat mana Richard tu akan tinggal

sebab rumah tu pun dah ada yg buyer

so sheols cakap kat Richard…

kalo nak ikut pindah – heols kena ikut cakap sheols

even kalo heols kena pukul dengan teruk pun

heols tak boleh bagitau kat siapa2…

at that time – Richard ni berumur 16 tahun

dah besar pun – but still takut jugak dengan mak heols

until late at night – heols terfikir

what will happened to him?

heols tau heols kena berani

and stand against his mom – or he will die…

and that early morning – heols buat keputusan

– no more abuse after this – he will fight!

cerita tu habis sampai kat situ ye…

nak tau – iols kena baca sambungan  buku tu pulak

which – kalau iols jumpa kat library

iols akan pinjam dan baca lah…

kalo tak de – tak dapat nak nolong eh!

ekekekeke

yg ni – iols terjumpa kat tenet masa gugel

when Richard was in his 20s he wrote his mother a long letter.

"in christmas 1991, i decided i'm going to bury the hatchet

and i'm just gonna tell mom, 'i love you as a mother

but i never want to see you, i can't stand you,

i don't want you to be a part of my life or

my children's lives. but i forgive you. just simply go away.'

it took days to write and i decided to mail it after the holidays.

but she died on 2 January. i had it cremated with her."

asked if he thinks his mother loved him,

Richard doesn't hesitate: "i don't think she loved me

or any of the boys or her husband or herself.

"i don't think she was capable of love and

she should never have had children."

hoccay – iols stop ye…

dah panjang berjela ni kekdahnya

iols nak sambung buat keja le pulak

hak hak hak

salam and adios

muahhhhhhhhhh n muahhhhhhhh!~